I really wish I had more time to write. It has always been a passion of mine. I will fully admit that I am not a technical writer. I am sure the grammar police would have a field day. I think back to a time when all I had was time. At 317+ pounds and laying in bed nearly all day, you would think I would have all the time in the world to write. I didn't. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself, overthinking, and pleasing everyone else except me. I thought that my purpose in life was to make everyone around me happy and by doing that I would feel better. I didn't realize what a disservice to myself that was. It was also a disservice to my family. I cannot help to think to a spongebob episode where Mr. Crabs had decided to go into the hotel business and his motto, "We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request."
This was me. I didn't care if it meant her having a Katana cell phone, Limited too clothes, or cheerleading, instead of paying the bills as any mature responsible adult should do. I was happy to oblige. I wanted her to never feel that she didn't have the best of everything or was made fun of because of what she didn't have.
Growing up, I had everything I needed but very little of what I wanted and I remembered feelings of yearning and how unfair life was because I didn't have money for Nike shoes. In short, I was a materialistic brat. Instead I should have been thankful to have a roof over my head, and food to eat. I never realized this until well into my 30's when I was able to pull my head out of my ass and realize I needed to change if I was ever going to have a productive life.
I remember times when I wore $9.00 clearance sneakers from Wal-Mart for four years just so my children could wear name brand.
I must say that I realize I created the need for materialistic possessions so I blame no one but myself until I came to my senses.
Children do not come with operation manuals and trust me I admit to my fair share of screwing my children's perception of the world up royally.
My grandmother, who I love dearly and will NEVER speak ill of, took to my son and furnished him with just about anything he wanted.
I in turn, spent what money we had, and at times it wasn't much, on my daughter so that she had material possessions.
So while you are thinking you are the "cool, hip" parent that pretty much lives for their children, you are indeed setting your youngsters up to a world of unrealistic expectations and mental illness.
You may also set yourself up to be chastised for what you didn't provide so that they could have what you thought she indeed wanted.
Trust me when I say this, children, even when they are younger do not want material possessions deep down inside. They want parents. They want someone to look up too and someone to respect.
They do not want you as their friend, and if you raise them as such, they will never gain the quintessential characteristic called respect, and society will be left cleaning up your mistakes.
-End
