What they think of you is not your business

     It's scary how much a person can change in a year.  That is one reason I love time hop. I was just negative and mean.  I tried to prove everyone wrong.
God forbid that anyone would say anything about me or my family.  I really felt like I was doing them an injustice by not "setting the world straight." What a difference a year makes.
 
     What a difference going to church and developing a relationship with Jesus has made.  I realize that people who do not like you don't want to hear the truth.  I realized that caring about what anyone says isn't hurting them,  it impedes my journey.  I was taking time away from the important things in my life to address people who wouldn't like me or my family even if we were perfect.  Perfection doesn't exist by the way.  As the great Martin Luther King Jr. Said,  "A man can't ride your back unless it's bent. " Steve Harvey said,  "when they blog about you,  it's just a blog,  when you respond it's a press conference. "

     The truth is,  if I were really a child of God and I loved myself,  I wouldn't care what was said.  The most important people know the truth and that's all that matters.  When people talk about you,  you're doing something right.  When you stop your climb to acknowledge hatred, you're doing something wrong. Pray for them instead.  God tells us to love even your enemies. 

Kristy

Parenting mistake

  Omgosh, "MiMi" is admitting she made a parenting mistake? Well DUH!
Let me just get this declaration out of the way; every parent messes up their child or children in some way. We have all heard of the phase, "parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual." Well, it doesn't.  If you are strict, you may have rebellion. If you aren't strict, you may have rebellion. 


  So what mistake am I admitting?  I admit that I have put a "lid" on my children.  By the way, the inspiration to for this blog came from a chapter in the book, "Act like a success, think like a success" by Steve Harvey. When I read the chapter I realized I was extremely guilty.  I am taking ownership for a mistake that I realize has hindered my children.  Let me tell you, not even halfway through this blog, I feel liberated just by admitting this. 

Growing up in West Virginia although with parents who always worked very hard, I still was considered poor by many.  Don't get me wrong, I had clothes, shoes, a home, etc.  I always appreciated everything I had despite being jealous of others and what they had.  I just accepted that I would never have those things.  I accepted the fact that their families were better than mine.  YES I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, but to a child, it certainly can seem that way.

I was often intimidated by those more fortunate than I was.  I felt I never had anything in common with them, I mean I couldn't talk to them about my Nike shoes.  I never owed any until I was much older.  So I stayed away and stuck to those who were like me.

So when I made the decision at 18 to not accept the scholarship I was offered in order to be a wife, I felt content because that was my normal. 

Unfortunately I also raised my children the same way with some good and not so good exceptions.

I always wanted my children to exceed my accomplishments so that is why I never gave them an option about attending college.  They knew that was what their natural progression would be when they finished high school.  Call me forceful, Idc.  I feel a person cannot change without being challenged.    I always wanted my children to have certain things I did not have so yes I did buy them the Nike shoes, the high end make up, the ridiculously expensive private cheerleading lessons. Yes, there are good things about that, and there are also bad which I will not get into this time. 

What I did do which I KNOW was wrong was tell them that people who had rich parents, people who had better jobs, etc. were different than they were and to be careful.

WOW! Yes that sounds even worse when I write it down.  What I have learned is that who we surround ourselves by will dictate  a lot about who we are both now and in our future.  If you want better, you have to do better.  You have to hang out with people who are where you want to be. 

You have to prove to YOURSELF, that you are no different.  They have invaluable lessons they can teach you just by being around them.  We cannot allow fear of rejection to hinder us from becoming what we inspire to be.  So if you look to your left and look to your right and those around you are not where you want to be, start walking and don't look back.  

Weather

     I do about you guys but I'm already dreading winter. I have already been sick twice.  I'm praying I can get well so I can drive the mile to our local Walgreens to get my flu shot. I'll save the vaccine argument for another entry but folks get your flu shot.  Sup bugs are on the rise and some of this stuff is deadly.

      I haven't been able to get to the gym this week and that doesn't make a happy me. So if you're in a praying mood, say one for me.

Vent session

     It's literally 6 a.m. and I should be sleeping or better yet, studying.  Instead, I am awake "thinking" and looking through various social media sites and what I am TIRED of seeing has gotten me so worked up I decided to vent on here.

     People are all over social media complaining about how much their lives stink and how they have no one.  Nearly every retweet is about their "miserable" lives....  GOOD GOSH!  Why do you think you have no friends?  Let me take a stab at this here.  Could it be because you post crap like that when you DO have people in your life willing to do anything for you and they get to see that nonsense?

     Idc if you have one person in your life who cares for you, it exceeds what some people have so why not look at your life with rose colored lenses instead of alienating the people you DO have in your life.

     Oh, and ladies when you get a new boyfriend that you look at and heart fly out of your behind, DO NOT forget those who were there before him. That is the quickest way to lose friends and to become estranged from others in your life.

     I know that in life we have become selfish.  I am even guilty of it on occasion HOWEVER anyone that knows me knows I have an extremely giving heart.  Where I am going with that is, if you feel no one includes you, perhaps you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why INSTEAD of going to Facebook and twitter.  I mean seriously I wouldn't want to be included in something because someone felt sorry for me after I had posted a "oh woe is me" story.  I would want to be included because they truly had me on their mind.

     Why are we never satisfied with what we have? The people we have? Can I just tell you that those people you do have are sitting back feeling pretty worthless when they see things like that.  Why not give your all to those people who DO SHOW they care about you?  I know I want my circle to be about people that prove to me through actions not about those who feel obligated because I complain.

   When you begin to think your life is so horrible think about those little innocent babies who are sleeping on the streets at night.  Think about the elderly people who are stuffed in nursing homes and have not had visitors in years.  Think about the children who are dying from disease and from starvation.  YOUR life doesn't "stink" nor is it pathetic.  You are lucky you have the life you have.  You are lucky to be alive.  It's insulting to those people who ARE in your life. It's insulting to GOD.

     If you feel alone, go volunteer at a nursing home.  Go volunteer at a hospital.  Read a book to educate yourself.  Do not go on social media and make things worse.  Your words hurt others.  You're hurt because you were left out? Well think about what it feels like to those who continually are there for you seeing that your life is HELL and how you have no one. THEN sit back and ask yourself could that be why......

    My advice, take inventory of yourself and you just may find an answer.

My new hash tag!

   
 I say that I am going to start blogging more and then life gets in the way and I always forget.  Well this time I mean it.  I must make this disclaimer first though.  My blog is informal.  If grammar errors bother you, you may not want to go any further.  I am not an inspiring author.  I am a normal mother, wife, and grandmother who sometimes likes you write things down.  Sometimes I like to vent.  Other times it's because I know my family and friends get completely tired of me talking about my weight loss or even my views on certain things going on in the world today.  Just know, that those views are MINE.  I am thankful I am unique.  I am respectful that you are YOU as well so lets respect each other K?

   I posted a status the other day on my Facebook page and I plan on expanding on it a bit.

" While I am taking a 5 minute break from peptide cross bridges and tetrapeptide side chains, can someone please explain to me where the females in this country lost their "need and want" when it comes to being classy. I am ALLLL for the basis of feminism and being treated equal but I do not think acting like harlots, lying, and putting family at the bottom of the chain is what people envisioned. WE NEED to go back to at least the morals of our ancestors. I am SICK of seeing the way some girls act on social media and then read how they are being treated so horrible by men. The answer is they no longer respect us! The answer is also that GOD is being taken out of everything. UGH OK. Rant over."


   Sometimes my children tell me that I am "too old" to have certain social media sites lol,  I have a very strong opinion about that as well.  In short for now, I am an adult on a computer, phone, and Internet that I pay for so what I have or do not have shouldn't concern anyone but me and my husband. (Steps down off the soap box)  Anyway, probably the reason they say that is my irritation of what I see on those social media sites.  I remember growing up MOST girls wanted to be known as virtuous.  If they were sleeping around, they certainly didn't advertise it.  They didn't express "how freaky" they are and how much they just loooveeeee having sex.  Women now, especially young girls, have completely lost respect for themselves.  They show everything they have and talk about things that would make this old lady blush.  If you "tweet" or "retweet" about how you like being smacked on the ass or that it is OKAY to sleep with someone the first night what message are you sending?  
(NO, IT'S NOT OKAY first of all.)
But who are you talking too? WHO needs to know that? WHY discuss that?  It is a shame that females need to have attention so badly that even bad attention is sought.  Men see this and I am sorry girls but if you cannot respect yourselves then why should they respect you?  You wonder why so many males are becoming Nymphomaniacs. 
That is what we are marketing ourselves as ladies!  
It's not only about sex and scant wardrobes.
It's about having manners.  It is about respecting your parents instead of posting status's, tweets, little cartoons, vines calling our mothers bitches and how they are horrible people.  
It's about mothers who put men in their lives before their children and make decision after decision without keeping the innocent children in mind.  
I am sorry, it makes me mad.  One of the biggest argument I have with my own children is what they choose to "retweet" and "share" on social media.  
I DO wish we could go back to women respecting themselves and wanting to be virtuous.  I may just "be old" but I respect myself and it bothers me younger generations losing all of that.  I have heard that "the older generation wants to complain but look who raised us."  NO ONE is responsible for your actions other than the person staring back at you in the mirror.  That is a piss poor excuse for bad behavior.

    Lastly, it is 2:30 a.m. lol, you see this new trend of #stopwhitepeople (insert eye roll) wellI my new hashtag is #stopyounggirlsstop    

Was this year really about preparation for a fight?

      

So tomorrow is probably the scariest test I have or will ever take. It has been a rough almost two weeks since I found the lump. A lot of thoughts have gone through my head. Both positive and yes a few negative. A great friend and wise woman  reminded me during those negative times how blessed I am to be in the spot I am in right now. "Just imagine if this happened a year ago." She is right. I do not believe I would have had it in me to even function during this.

Losing weight hasn't only strengthened me physically but also mentally. Whatever the outcome of this test I know I am prepared to fight. I am not ready to go anywhere anytime soon.

Some understanding PLEASE!

   

     Something I have learned and am still learning that not everyone is going to be happy for you.  You lose 80+ pounds and feel on top of the world.  The truth of the matter is there are going to be people you expect to feel the same elation that you do that do not.  They cannot handle the fact that they enjoy talking about our success for whatever reason.  I know for me this is a hard pill to swallow.
    I can tell you that being around others who are also on the same journey is my only saving grace.  They relate to you in ways your family or non weight loss friends just cannot or plain out do not want too.  I think that is why that youtube and my instagram has become such a calming place for me.

      I also wish that I could write this magical blog that provided insight as to how to persuade them into being happy for you.  I can't.  I am still figuring this out myself.

   

About my blog

   

     If you stumbled on this blog please note that my blog is not formal.  You will cringe occasionally if not frequently at my editing.  I do not write in this blog in hopes to be published but just to keep a written journal of how I am feeling and perhaps connect with someone who may feel the same way.  Sooooo in other words if you are bothered by grammatical errors or a misspelled word here and there, you may not want to follow my blog lol.

    What I can promise you that if you do is that you will get honesty.  You will get my REAL struggles and my hard earned triumphs.  You will get to know how a real life 39 year old with a middle class income dealt with, and beat being a dying, morbidly obese class III lifestyle.


                                                                                                       Much <3
                                                                                                  Kristy L.

Lesson learned

      It seems people has an opinion about everything.  I have found since being on this journey that for the most part people are very supportive but one thing that seem to instantly fire people up is supplementation.  I do supplement and it works for me.  HOWEVER.... if you are a underage do NOT supplement without your parents consent or without talking to a professional. It can be dangerous!

    I take a pre-workout, a multi vitamin,  a GNC triple fish oil capsule, and I finish my workouts with a whey protein shake.  I will go into more details in later blogs about what each one does and the ones I use and the risks, benefits, etc.  What I do want to tell you is to be careful when you do supplement.  You can take the most natural substance and it STILL can interact with things you eat and drink and cause issues.  I learned this firsts hand yesterday.

  Yesterday I went to lunch and had a unsweetened black tea.  Innocent enough right?  Fast forward to taking Bayer back and body.  Then fast forward to taking my pre-workout.  I went to the gym but about mid way through my work out I started to feel light headed and sick to my stomach.  Then my cousin who is also my best friend pointed out that the bayer had caffeine in it. I had taken an extra one..black tea...more caffeine..pre workout ( it is meant to give you energy.....) See where I am going with this?  I felt horrible!  BE CAREFUL!

  Supplements are not all bad but even natural supplements can cause adverse reactions.  Be mindful of everything you put into your body. 

Rant time!

   In life we all should be striving to become better versions of ourselves. I love to see it happen. What I don't like is when people who came from the same damn place I did improve themselves and then they act like their shitting bricks of gold and you are no longer on "their level." Do NOT forget where you came from. Do not forget the people who supported you and were there for you. It's a shame success in our world is measured by bank accounts and earthly possessions instead of what kind of heart we have. 'Merica! 
Okay rant over. Oh and hey I'm not talking about anyone in particular bit if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.

Where I've been!

     I cannot believe how much the flu can slow you down. I have had this nasty sore throat about a week then 4 days ago it turned into a cold/flu/virus that did turn into bronchitis. I made it to the gym two of those days pushing through because I didn't have a fever and believe it or not light workouts can help you feel better. Don't worry I took Clorox wipes with me and stay to myself. Yesterday I just couldn't and I will also take today off as well as much as it kills me. I am going to push fluids, rest, and take my medication. I was out on Z-pak, a ear drop for an ear infection and Zofran for nausea.  My little sister who joined my gym on the 31st tested positive for type A flu yesterday so for now we are both out of commission.  Say a little prayer for me. It is killing me being out of the gym.

  My lifesaver

Two black tea bags

Put in microwave until water is HOT

Add lemon and honey and stevia (raw) if you line your tea sweeter

I also like adding a little cinnamon and stir.

This helps my cough and soothes my throat. I have about 3-4 cups a day. You can also take a tablespoon full of just honey to help your cough.