I'm sorry for the pain.

     I am going to apologize now for my burst of entries over the next day or so.  I am taking a rest day today and need to keep myself busy so I am writing.  One of the biggest things weighing on my mind is how cruel people can be, namely the youth in the world and how our choices as parents affect our children.

      We all know that when we get in arguments we tend to find a sore spot with the other person to maximize hurt.  The other day I got a hurt hand lesson in just how MY choices affects my children and in addition got me to thinking how many times have they gone through this all because of me.
Let's just say that one of my children got into an argument with someone who feels they are above everyone because of their PARENTS money.  The argument escalated to the point of there was nothing really left to say, well you would think.  Then the words "If your mom would get her ass off the couch and go to work...." "Your mom cannot work because she is too fat to work." Wow.
Now I will ignore the fact that I still do not understand why this person brought me into it when I have never been anything but nice and supportive and skip to how my child reacted to this.  They (my child) became so irate that I had to stop what I was doing to calm them down.  They were close to tears and I guess I just sat back and thought out of everything this person was saying my child was most upset about this.  I wonder how many times they both have had to defend me but never told me.  Thinking back, I would say quite a lot.

     I could sit all day and vent about the decay of morals, respect and manners but for the sake of space I will skip how wrong this was and move into how I feel responsible for my child's anger.
When we become parents we are all excited about molding that perfect little baby into a wonderful person and giving them the world.  Who would have thought that eating cheesecake, ice cream, steak after steak and the loads of garbage I shoveled into my face on a daily basis would cause such pain.
Do you think that being a very large woman didn't affect both my children in numerous ways?  How many times have people made comments about me to them? I bet I couldn't count them.

     I want to apologize to my children for each and every time I have ever caused them pain because of my poor choices.
We as parents must THINK before we act even if we do not feel we need to.  Once for ourselves and once for our children.